When Mob Wives Meets Elle Woods…
What do you get when Mob Wives meets Elle Woods? Hell, that is a great question.
Immediately after deciding this was the perfect mash up to describe myself, I realized this sounds like a hot mess.
They do say polar opposites (somehow) compliment one another. It is the same reason why every Starbucks mug comes dressed in matte black or engulfed in gold glitter. There is no in between.
You could say my psyche is constructed the same way. I either want the infamous Khaleesi’s platinum blonde look or dark hair with zero highlights and straight bangs like I’m Jessica Jones.
Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.
What woman doesn’t want to drive their best friend (who is all jacked up on female empowerment) to an ex’s house to help steal “their” dog from the bast*rd?!
Elle Woods is the exact reason why all 90’s babies, born with a vagina, are going to take over the planet by 2050. Sprinkle a little bit of Broad City in the mix and take her out the oven!
Women like Elle understand freeloading off a husband sounds nice, but not having to answer to one sounds better. The world is evolving. A life partner is still very much appreciated and enjoyed, like a good dessert. But life can start without one. Women are no longer changing their last names, but adding letters to the end of it.
"Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey."
— Enrique
Above all else, every Elle girl knows to believe in herself; waking up in confidence and walking every step with class. She is not afraid to sit in the front row. Let the insecure shrewd, sitting in her own envy, make snide remarks from the back. Don’t forget honey, karma is real!
An Elle will politely tell someone to “f*ck off” without using a word. This is most likely to happen after someone has misjudged her positive outlook on life for stupidity. But their opinion does not matter to an Elle. The poor soul is simply blind to the power of vision and a tailored ensemble.
Guess what, b*tch!? I don’t f*cking sink.
The Mob Wife does not come up short when her passion and strength is measured. Is she hard-headed and foul-mouthed most of the time? Yes. But there is a reason for this. Under the tough exterior is a woman who protects the values and people she deems important to her.
As a confidant, she is not going to sugar coat the facts or change sides based on other people’s opinions. Family, loyalty, and perseverance are the qualities a Mob Wife lives by. Might as well add vengeance to the list, since it seems to be necessary at times.
“I’m gonna show up and dance with the motherf*cking devil, because I wear the best shoes and can dance all night long.”
— Mob Wives
She appreciates a finer lifestyle, but respects the sacrifice and diligence behind the facade. At the end of the day, this is the type of woman you want in your corner when the walls are crashing in. Let them fall. She will rebuild them her God damn herself, white marble finish included.
As a modern lady…
Originality and inclusiveness overlaps into every area of a woman’s life in today’s world. Female empowerment is a steadfast topic driving change and promoting respect. These converging concepts are understood by Mob Wives and Elle Woods, which strong women are not afraid to display.
“Modern women are not to be put into a category. There is no right or wrong way to be, you can be classy but not a push over, a house wife but independent.”
Every Mob Wife understands to respect the power and resources held by their adversaries family name. Elle Woods befriended her arch nemesis by the end of Legally Blonde, benefiting both women. True confidence is not simply how one carries them self, but how they uplift others and compromise with their “enemies”.
For this blog I hope to express myself, promote inclusivity, and ultimately inspire women. Because I am “When Mob Wives meets Elle Woods”.
